When we moved to California from Texas we had every intention of buying a house as soon as we found a place that we “liked” (we knew we would not be able to afford our dream house, or a house even close to the one we just sold in Texas in overpriced California). We have already bought and sold two homes in Texas and love having a place that we could call our own and we could change/ remodel. Growing up in California we knew that the market could be very difficult to get into and we would have to be realistic with our “wait list”. We began the process of looking at active listings and contacted our realtor. But then everything changes…
Blake and I have very good communication in our relationship, we talk about everything. (well if you know us, I’m the one that does most of the talking, I don’t really ever stop talking) So that being said, we spent a lot of time discussing what we wanted, when it came to making this very large purchase. After weighing our options and truly talking about the life that we imaged for our selves and the life we were currently in the process of creating for ourselves; we came to the conclusion that we couldn’t honestly buy a home in 2017 and be happy with our decision. Even if everyone in our lives were telling us what we “should” do. Even if they didn’t realize what they were telling us to follow was the “standard” American Dream, we knew that that wasn’t our own dream. If we were to follow it we would end up feeling empty and lost in this crazy world we call home.
If living the standard American Dream means sacrificing the opportunity to leave a legacy that will last generations then I personally can not call that a dream… to me it sounds more like a tragedy. If you ask most people what their “American Dream” is it goes something like this…
- Have a job that you enjoy
- Buy a home
- Raise a family
- Be financially secure
But lets break those down even further to get to my point.
- Have a job that you enjoy – I encourage you to find a “job” not only that you enjoy but something that fuels your fire and gives you passion to wake up everyday and never stop working.
- Buying a home – most people rarely get to the point where they truly own there home because they finance it for 30 years then refinance it and never pay it off.
- Raise a family- this one is great for us, no complaints here.
- Be financially secure – What does this even mean? This is such a broad term that it really doesn’t give any description of what your life will look like. Do you want to be living paycheck to paycheck with 200$ left over to “enjoy life”. Do you want to be able to go out to eat 4 times a week and not need to look at the bank account or do you want to have the money to travel the world and buy the finer things in life and not have to stress about the price tag.
What I am getting at is we need to refine what are goals are with much more detail. You should be able to picture exactly what you want out of life and knowing that will allow you to create your “American Dream”. But if you don’t understand your goals in detail you will never understand how the “standard dream” can be robbing you of what you truly value in life.
Here are the things that we value in our lifestyle to help you get some ideas of the details you need to lay out for your “American Dream”.
- Living a life where we spend the majority of our time together as a family (not at work or school or things taking up our time, that take focus away from our family)
- We want to leave our girls with a legacy that will give them the opportunity to follow their dreams and impact the world with their gifts not having to worry about student loans or debt.
- Raise our family with Christian values and morals.
- Living in a space that inspires us to keep dreaming and never settling.
- Create a job where our money will be working for us and will not be trading our time for money.
If we bought a home this year we would be dishonoring 4 of our of lifestyle goals. We would have made a large purchase, tying up a large part of our assets which would not allow us to make future financial investments as freely as we wish to. We would have listened to people in our lives that are not living the life that we have been dreaming of for ourselves.
This is not to scare you away from buying a home, we have every intention of purchasing a home in Southern California in the next couple of years. But I do want to encourage you to follow your own dream and define your goals down to the smallest detail so that you know exactly what you are striving to achieve. This way you will not get lost in the “standard American Dream” and lose out on creating the ideal future for you and your family.
Speaking from the heart with love,